The grass may be greener on the other side but you still need to mow it

It is a common misconception that single guys have a better sex life than married guys.  We are constantly bombarded with images of single guys having these great sex lives that it’s easy to start believing that all of those commercials and TV shows are actually indicative of a real single person’s life.  As such, it becomes easy to start thinking that if you were single you would be hooking up with total hotties every night and each one of them would be unbelievably awesome in bed.  Don’t buy into it.  Aside from the fact that those commercials are all trying to sell you cheap beer, hooking up requires a fair amount of effort, and the results are less desirable than those you can achieve with your wife.  Great sex is a result of time and understanding of what your partner likes.  If you do it right, sex with your spouse will become more intense as time goes on because you will become more attuned to each others desires.  One night stands may carry with them the thrill of experiencing something new, but let’s not kid ourselves, there really is very little ‘new’ out there, at least in the circles most of us occupy.  Furthermore, single life carries its own set of commitments, often for far less sex.  The ratio of the total amount of time single guys spend trying to get laid to the actual number of times they have sex is far greater than the same ratio for married guys.  I’m not saying the single sex life doesn’t hold appeal, I’m just saying that the next time you see a hot girl sitting across from you on the metro and you start thinking about how you wish you weren’t married, remind yourself that 1) you’re probably not smooth enough to pick her up anyways, and 2) she may be hot, but as the old saying goes, someone out there is still sick of her shit.

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Avoid disparaging remarks about your wife

If you get a bunch of married guys together and get a few drinks in them I guarantee they will start up a game of one-upsmanship about who has the most annoying spouse.  Most likely this isn’t because their spouse is annoying, it’s because they want to beat the other guys.  The best way to avoid this trap is to not get involved in the first place.  If people start talking about how their wives annoy them, just sit there, drink you beer, politely laugh when appropriate, and don’t play along.  If someone tries to call you out you can either deflect the question or simply say you don’t like talking about your wife behind her back.  Don’t be a douche bag when you say it and be prepared to take some shit, but those are better options than giving in because once you start down that road, there really is no good way to stop.  I’m not saying you should be the buzz kill of the group; just ask yourself if impressing your friends is more important than honoring your wife.