Become her Cary Grant

carygrant

The leading man's leading man, this is who you should strive to be...within reason!

In you’ve never seen nor heard of Cary Grant, stop what you are doing right now and go and rent a couple good Cary Grant movies, because this is the man against which ALL OTHER MEN ARE JUDGED!!!  Even if your wife has never heard of Cary Grant, believe me when I say that this is the man she wants you to be.  Cary Grant was an actor who worked throughout the 1930’s to the 1960’s and he is considered to be the epitome of the Hollywood leading man.  Every other leading man in Hollywood from George Clooney to Brad Pitt is inevitably compared to Cary Grant.  Charming, unbelievably handsome, witty, Cary Grant personified every single trait that women associate with a good husband.  It is no exaggeration to say that our idea of what defines a man was in many ways solidified by Cary Grant.  If you want to ensure a long and happy marriage, you need to identify what characteristics of Cary Grant you can emulate and then work your hardest to embody those characteristics as often as possible.  Now, there is an important caveat here because there were two sides to Cary Grant – the screwball romantic comedy Cary Grant and the drama/thriller/straight comedy Cary Grant.  Do not be the screwball romantic comedy Cary Grant.  I say this because the screwball romantic comedy Cary Grant was always the butt of every joke and was characterized by indecisiveness, wimpishness, and plain old buffoonery, and while entertaining to watch, these are bad traits to try and emulate.  Good examples of which Cary Grant not to be include Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House, My Favorite Wife and Bringing up Baby.  While these are great movies and worth watching, they are not indicative of the sort of husband you want to be.  You want to be the drama/thriller/straight comedy Cary Grant.  This Cary Grant was defined as romantic, intelligent, worldly, daring, capable, and reliable.  Good examples include North by Northwest, To Catch a Thief and Philadelphia Story.  Just remember that while you should strive to emulate Cary Grant as often as possible, keep in mind that he was an actor who off the screen had a rather sordid personal history so don’t kill yourself trying to live up to his standard.  The character of Cary Grant was more of an idealistic version of what a man can be, rather than an attainable goal.  After all, even Cary Grant once remarked, “Not even Cary Grant can be Cary Grant all the time.”

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Become Mr. Fix It

Nothing makes a man seem sexier to his wife than the ability to fix things around the house.  Why do you think women watch all those TLC home shows?  Do you really think it’s because they’re that interested in how to lay drywall?!  Of course not!  It’s all the handy men on the shows who just happen to be hot!  It’s the same principal as news networks hiring really hot women to read the teleprompter; I’m not tuning in because I respect her journalistic integrity, all I care about are her killer legs!  Whether it’s a leaky faucet, some broken dry wall, or a blown fuze, if your wife knows she can count on you to fix the problem without going through the hassle of calling a repairman, you are well on your way to a happy life together.  Unfortunately, people know less and less these days about how to care for their home and more often than not are forced to call in expensive handymen to fix what usually turn out to be minor problems.  If this describes you, fear not, for you too can take advantage of home shows to learn all you need to know about basic home repair.  Just tune in to TLC, HGTV, or any other home-themed network on any given day and I guarantee there will be some show that shows you how to fix drywall, replace a cracked tile, change a fuze, paint like a pro, fix a leaky faucet, or any of the hundreds of other basic skills every home owner should know.  That way the next time one of those problems occurs, you can go to your local hardware store, find someone who knows what they are talking about, pick up the necessary tools and repair parts, go home, and get to work!  Be prepared for some rough going initially, but if you’re even marginally competent you’ll have it figured out in no time and not only will you have saved money, you’ll have increased your own self confidence and impressed your wife at the same time.  Remember, there is very little damage you can do to your house that can’t be fixed and if you do find yourself in over your head you can always call the repairman to fix what you screwed up.  Women judge men based on their intentions, so as long as you don’t flood the basement you’ll still get bonus points for trying.

Published in: on October 29, 2009 at 6:57 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Always defend your wife

No matter what happens, no matter what she does, you always need to be her first line of defense.  I don’t care if it’s a guy in your office who makes an obscene reference to your wife or your parents who make a snarky remark about how ‘clean’ your house is, you should always be ready to leap to her defense.  I’m not saying you should pull out the leather gloves and challenge the offenders to a duel, but be prepared to respond with an appropriate amount of force that makes it clear you will not allow someone to talk about your wife that way.  She is the most important thing in your life, and even if what the person said is absolutely one hundred percent true, it doesn’t matter.  She is your wife and you shouldn’t allow ANYONE to say anything bad about her.  For someone to say something disparaging about your wife is not only disrespectful to her, it is disrespectful to you, and you need to make it clear that you will not tolerate it.

Published in: on October 29, 2009 at 6:55 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Avoid disparaging remarks about your wife

If you get a bunch of married guys together and get a few drinks in them I guarantee they will start up a game of one-upsmanship about who has the most annoying spouse.  Most likely this isn’t because their spouse is annoying, it’s because they want to beat the other guys.  The best way to avoid this trap is to not get involved in the first place.  If people start talking about how their wives annoy them, just sit there, drink you beer, politely laugh when appropriate, and don’t play along.  If someone tries to call you out you can either deflect the question or simply say you don’t like talking about your wife behind her back.  Don’t be a douche bag when you say it and be prepared to take some shit, but those are better options than giving in because once you start down that road, there really is no good way to stop.  I’m not saying you should be the buzz kill of the group; just ask yourself if impressing your friends is more important than honoring your wife.